Not so long ago, I used to beat myself up. That other chores and responsibilities took over. I’d spend too little time. Maybe snapped that day. Maybe hurried…
There is no day that you think you found that perfect balance.
If you spend all day with kids, the household chores not done, that means a filthy house, and a filthy house means a foul mood on my side. If you spend the day cleaning, then kids crave the attention, and whining and fighting follows soon afterwards… And there is cooking, and bills to pay, and things to buy, and grocery trips. And the list goes on and on.
The thing is: There is no balance. So stop looking for one.
One day, you will prefer one and leave another, and that’s okay.
I have come to terms with it. I can’t be everything and I don’t have to be. I am a human that tries, and that’s perfectly enough.
I look closely that day at what I need and I follow it. And along the way, I include other’s needs too.
There was a time when I felt a complete failure. How can I not manage everything with kids? Look at others and how amazing they are doing. Ahem, doing what? Amazingly…hiding.
Everyone is in a different situation and has their own unique needs. We should stop comparing, and rather enjoy our journeys. Yes, even those sometimes unenjoyable ones. Dead boring. Gut-wrenching. Make it YOURS. Include gratitude. Time for yourself. There is no magic there, just a simple tool: mind shifting.
And kids…one day they will grow and will do exactly what you were doing. Following not a perfect balance but rather their unique individuality that reflects their needs.
Kids shouldn’t grow with our time alone, and they shouldn’t grow without our time. Isn’t there a balance between these two? No. There is none. How do you even calculate it? You just tune in with their needs. You don’t follow them everywhere just to make sure they are okay and kept busy, but you are there when they want or need you. And still, not always, but you make it a priority and try your best.
They will adore you for trying. For making a house a home. For nostalgic dinners. For time with them. For life with them. For chores with them. For fun with them. For outings. For take-aways. For everything you did.
So drop it. And enjoy your messy and (im)perfect life.